Social Media Advice from CJDM®

From our newly appointed Community Management Team

Abstract: Following a brief CJDM® twitmeeting, a new paradigm was decided upon our Web 2.0 policy. Indeed, it was suggested to Mr Lahab (Abou), to appoint a new community management team gathering the most skilled members of our community; criteria were leadership and networking crossed with Internet Savviness. As soon as appointed, this highly motivated team announced its Marketing Plan for the following months to enhance CJDM®’s connectivity with the highly exciting eMarketing and social-media-based businesses.

In this context, our Social Media Management submitted detailed guidelines to CJDM® top management; The report will remain confidential until it will be published in the Mc Kinsey Quarterly; Following are some free parts of it, exclusively shared with our readers.

Points in a Nutshell:

– Act local, think GLOBAL:

Always keep this point in mind: think big, think global; indeed in a strongly bonded world of internet-business only globally minded people survive! Thus using any other language than English is a limiting strategy and you should avoid it, wherever you come from, never use your mother tongue, it gets people doubting on your skills in understanding globalisation, However outstanding your communication strategy is, it should be in English.

– Stock Market, Google Finance, everythingbutbuzz !

Social Media means business, and people who get mentioned by Google finance understood it earlier than others; with its algorithms, Google finance mentions you however bullshit saying you are[1]. Some blog posts from analysts seldom lead to downtrend or high-trend remarkable momentum on unknown stocks;

Often you will be just copy/pasting news or quoting Smatrend and other websites like StockWatch, but Google Finance will list you in the breaking news anyway and robots will strat shorting on the company because other real people will start frightening or at the opposite they will start over-exciting and over-evaluating the company for which google finance listed your post; example for the stock Horizon Lines with news from Guambuildupnews and, Hot stocked; on the stock Duoyan Printing. Note that the latter varied between 0,34 and 8,83 USD in 52 weeks, such phenomenons happen only with stocks on which there is few news on important media, then Google starts quoting Hot Stocked, NothingButBuzz etc… Whynot YOU !

If you are a web 2.0 sceptic and have nostalgia to forums, you can find inspiration at Boursorama™ (by Société Générale)

– Arab Spring: ‘hähnchen[2]’ with golden eggs for Social Media experts.

About Arab Spring, always ask good questions you should! Follow these examples:

The whole point is: how is Google+ now being a mail-based social media establishing a new understanding to Egyptian mythology?

Then as social media astronaut, I think this question is very legitimate: did Arabs accidently discover democracy while using twitter?

Also, think about a corner from where to build a monopoly-theme-expertise you would then be invited to San Francisco to talk about Social Media impact in gender equality in Tinjedad; And remember, always keep in mind mentioning this priceless Google Trends analysis: Tunisian Revolution was all about the porn 2.0 (Youporn is a social Media as it based on user-provided content) and in Arab World:  Sex*Islam=Constant (when one increases the other one decreases so that the product remains constant, check this 1, 2)

– Case studies:

30% of the report is about benchmarking of remarkable examples of community management success (or failure) stories; we share with you one of these examples:

@Kalamoukoum is the Community Manager of Acharif Moulay Abdellah Bouskraoui (@bouskraoui on Twitter) a prominent Suffi Hermit and Political Advisor to the Moroccan Policy Makers. As a Hermit who does not appear to the society, he was in the need of someone to spread his word among the common mortals, thus he appointed sir Mohammed Zaidi who take this responsibility with an outstanding devotion: Achrarif’s speeches are pronounced by Zaidi in Arabic, English, Hebrew, French, Spanish and German in a monthly basis. Yet no in-depth study has been made to compare the impact of each language on the successful marches held by Boutchichi Congregation to support Moroccan Constitution, but we do believe that our point ‘act local think global’ about the pertinence of the choice of English is not destabilised by the success of the tandem Kalamoukoum/Bouskraoui with their multilingual strategy. Sometimes Kalamoukoum uses his excellent singing skills to preach to cause of Sahara Marocanity or just singing about Love to attract teenagers to his websites

–  Apple™: Evry single ‘fanboy’ livetweeting the Keynote® is a dumb CM for free

Most successful strategy up to now in eMarketing, The Steve Jobs method®: get free community managers! Do not speak about yourself and let people speak about your products, even those not buying your iPhone would livetweet the Keynote from their Nokia e65 via Mobile Web.

– Events Attending You should!

First and most basic reason you have to attend events is proving you EXIST IRL, little by little, you will be considered by journos as a ‘Oueb Two Dot Ow specialist’, the more your face is reminding your avatar, and the more this last one is trending thank to the successful retweets you receive, the more they would like to be in your table in lunch breaks of conferences: thus choosing a representative avatar is compulsory, otherwise we suggest you do a surgery so as to make your face fit your avatar.

– We love bo(obz)ts

People often have negative prejudices on Robots (bots), have such prejudices on bots we do not! Bots are very useful to enhance your web 2.0 when you just start on twitter for example and nobody follows you: just tweet on some Hastags like #Forex #SocialMedia #Revolutions #JustinBieber #Youporn… Few tweets latter you would have already some dozen followers, and remember: people are always sceptical to follow a newby with no followers. We Love bots, we tweet on #boobz!

– The eKhobzism Daily is Out!

As a social media Jedi Knight, you should know™, this powerful tool is now considered among the basics, thus have one you should. Now leave a comment, RT our post and mention @Aboulahab_ to be listed in our prestigious “eKhobzism Daily” aiming to be the best regarded Social Media Experts aggregator.

By the way, last hint: you can create your own blog-commenting Bot and spread on the Internets by getting visitors back from the blog where you leave kind comments, check this example

May the Buzz be with you !

[1] Bullshit saying you are (you are saying bullshit); ask good questions you should (you should ask good questions); thus have one you should (thus you should have one; Etc: as Social Media Jedi Knights, the members of our SMM write their reports in Yoda sentences-style, some sentences were kept like they were written in the report.

[2] German: Chicken. (Remember: in media consulting reports, using words in foreign languages has more impact on your audience)


A propos Lbadikho

Lbadikho, pour toute réclamation: sur twitter: @L_badikho par mail: Lbadikho [at] Gmail [point] com
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4 commentaires pour Social Media Advice from CJDM®

  1. Gilgamesh dit :

    Même les crâneurs de chez mckinsey participent mtn à ce blog ===> Ultimate social proof!
    Keep up.

  2. Ping : [Concours] Votez pour la meilleure vidéo de campagne de boycott | C.J.D.M.

  3. BernardinaY dit :

    Eh bien, c’est mon premier vérifier pour ! Nous sommes un groupe de bénévoles et de commencer une toute nouvelle initiative dans une communauté régionale dans le créneau exactement les mêmes. Votre phorum nous a fourni de précieuses informations pour travailler. Vous avez fait un travail merveilleux! Cordialement

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